Wednesday, March 10, 2010

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

March 10, 2010

Dear Sleep,

We are battling again. I don't like this.

We fight way to often. Can't we just get along? You wore me out completely while I was pregnant by being so elusive. It really wasn't fair. I slept more after my son was born that I did while pregnant with him. Where did you go in those moments when I needed you most?

You came back with a vengeance after I had him. I remember coming home from the hospital, about a week after Hunter was born and laying in bed. I used to be so hot under the covers that I'd sleep with them completely kicked off, in little to no clothes. I remember sleeping in socks, long pants and a long sleeved shirt, under three blankets and still feeling cold. I laid on my back, it was the only position I could really do that wouldn't aggravate my healing c-section. I was still in some pain, so took a low grade pain killer and you came swiftly to me. You were like a lover returning from war and your embrace was warm and so welcoming. I stayed with you for hours, in a deep and soothing sleep.

That was the best sleep I had had in years.

Last night was close to the worst. Every noise, ever smell, every touch from the body next to me sent you further and further away. I hate that. All my old tricks to find you really didn't do anything, and here I am, hours before my bed time, ready to just go to sleep.

I think its time to pull out the old tricks. I'm going to put fresh, clean sheets on the bed. They were just washed today and smell so lovely. After that, I am going to have a shower with some new soothing body wash that I got (it's a cucumber scent, I think that should be relaxing). Then I will put on some fresh sleeping clothes, check on the baby and go to bed.

I will capture you tonight, I'm sure of it.

Soon to be together.. with desire.